Road Trippin’
with Steve McCarthy

This month, I want to talk about another unusual Road Trip. Not that my Road Trip Heroes Louis Matter and Cannon Ball Baker and Brock Yates and Horatio Nelson Jackson and the intrepid teams of Guy Butcher and Eunice Kratky or Tod Styles and Buzz Murdoch are any lesser beings in the Pantheon of Road Trippers, but this guy has out done them all.
This guy has just completed 800 miles. OK, hardly a record breaker. But he didn’t use a car. Or a motorcycle. Or even a skate board. No, he walked. He took on the challenge to Walk the Missions. Yeah, like Fr. Serra more than 200 years ago. He walked. And walked. And walked.
This is going to be a bit awkward, perhaps, but this guy is also my second best friend (sorry, but my wife Marianne still out ranks him) and his name is Bill Morgan. And yes, he’s become a Hero, First Class. He has endured. Far more than you or I or anyone else I know has endured, except my Dad, who did a little hiking in his day under fairly adverse conditions. He of course “only” walked from about Paris to Pilsen, mostly in the winter and bad guys kept shooting at him. It was World War Two. And he had the benefit of being 20 years old. Bill is my age (OK, I can hear him now, he’s 6 months younger), overweight, out of shape, and only stopped smoking a few months ago. His “training” for this were several 2-5 mile walks without the 35 pound back pack he’d later heft. Most of us figured he’d be gasping for mercy somewhere between the mission in Sonoma and the 101. He proved us all wrong. Thankfully wrong.
He began in Sonoma on May 9 and as I’m writing this, is due in San Diego about June 26. He’s met the most amazing people along the way, had adventures none of us can even fathom. Almost all were positive, the only really negative encounter was with the cops on Ft. Hunter-Ligget who unceremoniously tossed him out, denying him the opportunity to visit Mission San Antonio.
He’s had blisters on blisters on his feet, and a few unlucky mishaps tweaked his back and hip all out of wack. To be honest, he needed help a few times and every time, an “Angel” turned up and gave him water, encouragement, and sometimes, when desperate, a lift. He’s camped, stayed in wonderful motels and crappy ones. He’s made more friends in the past two months than most people make in a life time. He didn’t do this with a support team and a van, or a camera crew, or any other aid, other than St. Serendipity and the Kindness of Strangers.
His chronicle is on Facebook under “Bill’s Camino Real” https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bills-Camino-Real/548421088530757?ref=tn_tnmn and is mandatory reading. Even if you are one of those who despises the entire concept of Facebook, it’s worth the effort to set up a fake email account, then a fake Facebook page and read what he’s done.
What Bill has done goes far beyond the mere pilgrimage (and by the way, Bill is not a religious man, but he is a Spiritual Man. There is a difference). It goes beyond what he personally endured. It is an affirmation of John Locke’s view that Mankind is essentially good. That people are at heart, decent. That when left to make their own decisions, Human Beings will almost always Do the Right Thing. His blog on Facebook is filled with such stories.
From the kid who looked like a gang banger or skate boarding looser who guided him to the right path and a bench in the shade to rest, then disappeared, to the car load of girls who circled around to buy him some water and fruit, to the woman in her 70s who stopped, thinking “That old man shouldn’t be out walking in this heat” and gave him a lift to her campsite as his hip was about to give up on him, to the hotel staffs who gave him “Mission Walker Discounts” that they invented on the spot, to the people who bought him drinks in bars, or otherwise gave him encouragement, and the truckers who waved and moved over, these people proved that Locke, not Hobbes was right.
Bill has earned his place in our Hall of Fame. Bill has endured. I’m PROUD to call him MY FRIEND.


Following are some photos that he's posted, in no particular order. And BTW, he doesn't know I've done this. Yet.

Road Trippin’ 
with Steve McCarthy

The things you learn out on the Road! Like, in the Sequoia/Sierra Foothills, GPS, Googlemaps, Real Maps and Reality have no real relationship! And to make things even better, it seems like a) every other road is named “Auberry Rd” and b) the locals seem to think it’s GREAT fun to turn street signs 90 degrees. I kid you not! We all discovered this using last month’s Drive to the Center of the Earth directions. Just note, IF you do this drive, just head to North Fork what ever way you can. You’ll get a good meal at the Buckhorn, then, head back to Visalia however you can.
A couple of other notes about last months drive, the Brewbakers brew pub in Visalia is pretty good, but my steak was REALLY tough, esp. for the price, and Bravo Farms was good, but over prices, pretensious and slapped an automatic 18% gratuity on our table of 6. If we’d sat at seperate tables, no such charge! I told the poor waiter that if those are the rules, then he’d been cheated. I WOULD have given him more, but...Rules are Rules! I’d honestly give this place a miss, it’s just not worth the money.

The Day Three Drive takes me back to my old bus driving days, and adds some new roads that are FANTASTIC! Yokohl Valley Road is freaking SPECTACULAR!!! It nay be my new Favorite Road! It certainly ranks up there! Following that is the Dreaded Road to Quaker Meadows.
Constant readers will remember that I drove charter buses in my callow youth, and one run made a Man out of you. Quaker Meadows. It’s all the way at the top of Hwy 190 out of Porterville and has some hellacious hairpins that in a bus...well, lets just say you were a REAL driver if you made them in one cut.
At the top is a neat little place called the Pierpoint Springs Resort. We weren’t ready to eat again, but DAMN, did breakfast smell good there! Past there, WAY past there is a crossroads with another intriguing eatery, the Tapatio Cafe. It’s where Hot Springs Road and Old Stage Road meet. Good place to take a pee break. The place was empty, but it smelled good. Out side, E. Clampus Vitus has erected a monument to the most successful horse rustler in California history, Peg Leg Smith, “El Cojo”. It’s a great story and thank God for the Clampers for keeping the REAL history alive.
From there, it’s off to Woody, then the edge of Bakersfield and up to Tehachapi, Lunch at a new place called Red House BBQ or the old standby, the Village Grill. From there it’s an easy drive home over Angeles Crest.
I was tempted to call this drive the Jerry Dunphy Memorial Jaunt, because in the words of that legendary LA newscaster, we went “from the Mountains, to the Deserts, to the Sea, and to All of Southern California.”


Econo Lodge Sequoia Area
1400 S Mooney Blvd
Visalia, CA 93277

1. Head north on S Mooney Blvd toward W Tulare Ave 0.5 mi
2. Turn right onto W Noble Ave 184 ft
Merge onto CA-198 E/State Route 198 E
via the ramp on the left to State Route63 N 9.9 mi
3a. Turn right onto Yokohl Valley Rd 2.9 mi
4. Turn left onto M-296/Yokohl Valley Rd 18.1 mi
5. Turn left onto M-296/Yokohl Valley Dr 1.6 mi
6. Turn right onto Balch Park Rd/Springville-Milo Rd 6.1 mi
7. Turn left onto CA-190 E 4.6 mi
8. Turn right to stay on CA-190 E 10.1 mi
9. Turn left to stay on CA-190 E 2.3 mi
10. Turn left to stay on CA-190 E 2.7 mi
11. Turn left to stay on CA-190 E 4.1 mi
12. Continue onto Co Route 107 13.3 mi
13. Continue onto Great Western Divide Hwy 2.1 mi
14. Turn right onto Parker Pass Rd 11.9 mi
      Continue on Hot Springs Road
       Hard Left onto Old Stage Rd 1.9 mi
19. Slight left toward Jack Ranch Rd/M-10 Rd 131 ft
20. Continue straight onto Jack Ranch Rd/M-10 Rd
Continue to follow Jack Ranch Rd 5.4 mi
21. Slight right onto CA-155 W/Bakersfield-Glennville Rd 0.7 mi
22. Continue onto Granite Rd 23.5 mi
23. Keep right at the fork 0.6 mi
24. Turn left onto Round Mountain Rd 19.0 mi
25. Turn left onto China Grade Loop 0.4 mi
26. Slight left onto Alfred Harrell Hwy 0.4 mi
27. Slight left onto Old Alfred Harrell Hwy 0.9 mi
28. Turn right onto Mc Mannus Rd 0.1 mi
29. Turn left to merge onto Alfred Harrell Hwy 9.0 mi
30. Continue onto Comanche Dr 4.5 mi
31. Turn left onto Edison Hwy 2.1 mi
32. Continue onto Bena Rd 10.1 mi
33. Slight left onto Caliente Bodfish Rd 4.7 mi
34. Turn right onto Bealville Rd 2.0 mi
35. Turn left onto CA-58 E 4.9 mi
36. Take exit 139 toward Keene 0.1 mi
37. Turn left toward Woodford-Tehachapi Rd 430 ft
38. Turn right onto Woodford-Tehachapi Rd 8.8 mi
39. Turn left onto Westwood Blvd 1.4 mi
40. Turn left onto Red Apple Ave 0.8 mi
41. Continue straight onto W Tehachapi Blvd 1.4 mi
199 mi – about 6 hours 13 mins
Village Grill
410 East Tehachapi Boulevard
Tehachapi, CA 93561
OR
Redhouse BBQ
426 E Tehachapi Blvd, Tehachapi, CA
(661) 822-0772
42. Head east on E Tehachapi Blvd toward S Hayes St 2.6 mi
43. Turn right onto Tehachapi Willow Springs Rd 20.2 mi
44. Continue onto 90th St 6.8 mi
45. Turn right onto CA-138 W/W Avenue D 8.0 mi
46. Turn left onto 170th St W 2.5 mi
47. Turn left onto W Avenue F 8/Lancaster Rd
Continue to follow Lancaster Rd 4.4 mi
48. Continue onto Fairmont-Neenach Rd 1.1 mi
49. Turn right onto Munz Ranch Rd 4.4 mi
50. Turn left onto Elizabeth Lake Rd 1.2 mi
51. Take the 2nd right to stay on Elizabeth Lake Rd 15.0 mi
52. Continue onto W Palmdale Blvd 0.8 mi
53. Merge onto CA-14 S via the ramp to Los Angeles 5.4 mi
54. Take exit 30 toward Angeles Forest Hwy 0.4 mi
55. Merge onto Sierra Hwy 0.1 mi
56. Turn left onto Angeles Forest Hwy 24.6 mi
57. Turn right onto CA-2 W/Angeles Crest Hwy 9.4 mi
You know your way home from here!
Hope you enjoyed the Drive, & we’ll see ya next year!

Road Trippin’

with

Steve McCarthy

Drive the the Center of the Earth, Day Two

Ok, we got to lovely Visalia, now it time to head for the hills. There are a huge number of options here. When we did the “Gold in Them Thar Hills” about five years ago, we went all the way up to Jackson in the heart of the Gold Country, and used Hwy. 49 for a lot of it. That on it’s own is a great drive, but there are also a bunch of side roads that make this whole area great Road Trip territory. 

The one thing you have to keep in mind is time of year. Many of these secondary roads are closed in the winter. They don’t want to spend the money to plow them. That dough is better spent keeping the main roads in the southern Sierras open as much as possible. Most should be open by May, but it’s always a good idea to check first, especially after a wet winter. It’s also worth noting that even in the spring, a snow storm CAN hit. Keeping an eye on the weather is an important idea. In the summer, these mountains can also get surprisingly hot, and the hill climbing and heat can challenge an Auld Crate’s cooling system. Make sure your’s is up to snuff! 

The key to this whole drive is located on a little back road called “Italian Bar Road.” I need to do some research on how it got it’s name. Was there a bar for Italians? Were Italians barred from crossing further south or north? Some kind of 19^th century Pale? Who knows. Anyway, it’s on this road that you will find the exact geographical center of California. Now you know. Don’t all jump up and cheer at once, you’ll wake the kids. 

The better part of this bit of esoterica is that just up the road, near a little mountain town called North Fork, is a great barbeque spot, called the Buckhorn Saloon & Restaurant

(32992 Road 222 North Fork, CA 93643-- http://www.buckhornsaloon.net ). This place is a classic mountain resort with lots of dead heads on the wall (and no, I don’t mean Jerry Garcia, I mean moose and deer, and such.). The menu has the usual suspects, and the burgers are big and juicy. It’s one of those classic bits of Mountain Americana that shouldn’t be missed. 

From there, it’s more back country to Oakhurst, where you’ll find the least outrageous gas prices, then, by the usual indirect route, back to your digs in Visalia. It’s actually not that grueling day in the saddle, but the fresh mountain air and the scenery are spectacular. In April and May, there should be plenty of wildflowers and flowering trees to liven up the backdrop of evergreens. What more could you ask for? 

DRIVE TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH

DAY TWO! 

Econo Lodge Sequoia Area

1400 S Mooney Blvd

Visalia, CA 93277

1. Head north on S Mooney Blvd toward W Tulare Ave 0.5 mi

2. Turn right onto W Noble Ave 184 ft

Merge onto CA-198 E/State Route 198 E 

via the ramp on the left to State Route63 N 2.7 mi

4. Take exit 108 for Lovers Ln toward CA-216 0.3 mi

5. Turn left onto Rd 140/S Lovers Ln 1.0 mi

6. Turn right onto CA-216 E/E Houston Ave/Ivanhoe Dr

Continue to follow CA-216 E/Ivanhoe Dr 5.0 mi

7. Turn right onto CA-216 E/Ave 328/Millwood Dr

Continue to follow Millwood Dr         22.7 mi

8. Millwood Dr turns slightly right and becomes CA-245 N       10.4 mi

9. Sharp left onto Dunlap Rd 0.8 mi

10. Turn left to stay on Dunlap Rd 5.1 mi

11. Turn right to stay on Dunlap Rd 7.2 mi

12. Turn left onto CA-180 W/E Kings Canyon Rd 4.5 mi

13. Turn right onto N Elwood Rd         11.8 mi

14. Turn right onto N Piedra Rd 0.7 mi

15. Turn right onto E Trimmer Springs Rd 5.6 mi

16. Keep right at the fork

Continue to follow E Trimmer Springs Rd 8.1 mi

17. Turn left onto Maxon Rd 5.0 mi

18. Turn right onto Watts Valley Rd 3.2 mi

19. Continue onto Burrough Valley Rd 3.2 mi

20. Turn right to stay on Burrough Valley Rd 1.1 mi

21. Turn right onto Tollhouse Rd 1.2 mi

22. Continue onto Lodge Rd 6.6 mi

23. Turn right onto Auberry Rd 1.8 mi

24. Continue onto Frazier Rd 161 ft

25. Continue onto Auberry Rd 1.1 mi

26. Head south on Auberry Rd 92 ft

27. Take the 1st right toward Power House Rd 92 ft

28. Turn right onto Power House Rd 7.4 mi

Turn right onto Co Rd 235/Redinger Lake Rd 2.8 mi

30. Keep right at the fork 5.6 mi

31. Turn left onto Rd 225/Italian Bar Rd 3.7 mi

32. Head northwest on Rd 225/Italian Bar Rd toward Itialn Bar Rd 0.2 mi

33. Turn left to stay on Rd 225/Italian Bar Rd

Continue to follow Rd 225 4.4 mi

34. Slight left onto Rd 222

Destination will be on the right 0.2 mi

4.7 mi – about 9 mins

Buckhorn Saloon & Restaurant

32992 Road 222

North Fork, CA 93643

35. Head northeast on Rd 222 toward Weatherly Ln 0.2 mi

Rd 222 turns slightly right and becomes Rd 225/

Mammoth Pool/Minarets Rd 0.3 mi

37. Turn left onto Rd 274/Malum Ridge Rd/Ridge Rd

Continue to follow Rd 274/Malum Ridge Rd 10.9 mi

38. Continue straight onto Rd 222/Bass Lake Rd 3.4 mi

39. Turn left onto CA-41 S 3.2 mi

40. Turn left onto Rd 426/Crane Valley Rd 0.4 mi

41. Take the 2nd right onto Rd 425B/Fresno Flats Rd 144 ft

42. Take the 1st right onto Chapel hill Dr 95 ft

43. Head southeast on Chapel hill Dr toward Rd 425B/Fresno Flats Rd 95 ft

44. Turn left onto Rd 425B/Fresno Flats Rd 144 ft

45. Take the 1st left onto Rd 426/Crane Valley Rd 0.4 mi

46. Turn left onto CA-41 S 17.9 mi

47. Turn left onto Rd 200/N Fork Rd 2.0 mi

48. Turn right onto Rd 210/Hildreth Rd 0.5 mi

Rd 210/Hildreth Rd turns slightly right and becomes 

Rd 211/O'Neals Rd 7.2 mi

50. Continue straight onto Rd 145 1.3 mi

51. Turn left onto Rd 206 2.2 mi

52. Turn left onto Millerton Rd 5.7 mi

53. Turn left onto Auberry Rd 0.9 mi

54. Turn right onto Millerton Rd 7.0 mi

55. Turn left onto Tollhouse Rd 4.0 mi

Turn right onto Pittman Hill Rd 4.2 mi

57. Turn left to stay on Pittman Hill Rd 1.2 mi

58. Take the 1st left onto Watts Valley Rd 7.4 mi

59. Continue onto Maxon Rd 5.0 mi

60. Turn right onto E Trimmer Springs Rd 13.7 mi

61. Turn left onto N Piedra Rd 0.7 mi

62. Turn left onto N Elwood Rd 11.8 mi

63. Turn right onto E Kings Canyon Rd 3.0 mi

64. Turn left onto CA-63 S/S Hills Valley Rd 8.4 mi

65. Turn left onto CA-63 S/Ave 460 1.0 mi

66. Take the 2nd right onto CA-63 S/Rd 128

Continue to follow CA-63 S 19.8 mi

67. Turn left onto NW 2nd Ave 0.2 mi

68. Slight right onto N Locust St 0.7 mi

69. Turn right onto W Mineral King Ave 0.7 mi

70. Turn left onto S Giddings St 1.0 mi

71. Turn right onto W Walnut Ave 0.5 mi

72. Turn right onto S Mooney Blvd

Destination will be on the right 0.4 mi

129 mi – about 3 hours 43 mins

Econo Lodge Sequoia Area

1400 S Mooney Blvd

Visalia, CA 93277

Road Trippin’
with Steve McCarthy

Let’s get back to what we do best. It’s April, and No Foolin’, it’s Road Trip Time. At least here in SoCal, Road Trip Season starts when the rain stops. At least Planning for Road Trip Season. This is a great time to set up that spring/summer Drive that you, and maybe a few friends, also who have neat cars, want to take to set out for the backroads.
The one I have planned here is a Three Day Trek, some of which is old, some is new, and all of it is a challenging quest to find, (drum roll here): The Center of the Earth. Or at least, the California Road Trip Earth. To be more specific, the EXACT Geographical Center of the Golden State.
First, it’s not where you’d guess. I’m betting that most folks, when asked to point on a map where the center of California is would put it somewhere around the stockyards in Kettleman City. Nope. Now remember, our Great State isn’t like Colorado or Kansas. It’s not a nice neat rectangle. That would be too boring. California is kinda boomarang shaped, taking most of it’s eastern boundary from the vaguaries of Mother Nature. The Sierra Nevada Mountains and the Colorado River do most of the defining and mountains and rivers don’t run in nice neat straight N/S/E/W lines. So, our border bends somewhere around Tahoe, then again near Needles.
Now I can’t say what Genius of Geography and Geometry figured this out, but the actual Center of California is in the southern Sierras, not far from Sequoia. Huh. Who’d a thunk it?
Now, Constant Reader will know that a few years ago, we described a trip through the Gold Country, and yeah, this one mirrors some of that, but there’s a few twists. Like going by way of Ojai and Morro Bay. Wha? Ya ask? Well, several people wondered aloud to me if a great drive could be made using both the coast and the Sierras. I took up the challenge and here it is.
Day One will take us from up near Magic Mountain at a neat little eatery called “Eggs n Things”, over 126, up to Ojai, then the challenge of Wheeler Ridge. The 166 will take us towards the coast and give a couple of great lunch opportunities. One is Jockos, the great steak house in Nipomo, the other is the Rock ‘n’ Roll Diner in Oceano.
This is one of those times that a little local knowledge is a good thing. Bikers, it seems have discovered Jockos, and on a weekend, it’s JAMMED for lunch. I’m not saying anything against Bikers. Great folk. But count on the place being pretty crowded. If you have a group, you might want to head to the Rock ‘n’ Roll. This is a neat place that I’ve also talked about before. It’s in two old railroad passenger cars just off of Hwy 1 near Pismo. Great place with pretty good Santa Maria Style Tri-Tip. Hell, can’t go to wrong with that!

From there, we’ll head along the coast and up over See Canyon. This has a bit of dirt road, but it’s well maintained and even the BLue Meany doesn’t object. From there, you’ll hit Morro Bay (where, if you wanted to hold off for lunch, Taco Temple is a great place, and head back east.
Over CA 41, past the James Dean Memorial, up and over to the great Central Valley and through the fields to Visalia. Yeah, I said Visalia. This is a good jump off spot and the Old Town has acquired several decent eateries and even a brew pub. It’s a good place to spend the night, lots of decent motels for good prices.
Next Month, we’ll head for the Hills.

Eggs 'N' Things
27560 Newhall Ranch Rd #301
Valencia, CA 91355
1. Head northwest on Newhall Ranch Rd toward Dickason Dr 2.7 mi
2. Continue onto CA-126 W 12.0mi
3. Turn left onto Torrey Rd 0.3 mi
4. Take the 1st right onto Howe Rd 0.2 mi
5. Slight left onto Torrey Rd 0.8 mi
6. Turn right onto Guiberson Rd 7.0 mi
7. Turn left onto CA-23 S/Chambersburg Rd
Continue to follow CA-23 S 0.6 mi
8. Take the 2nd right onto Bardsdale Ave 1.3 mi
9. Turn left onto Sespe St 0.5 mi
10. Continue onto S Mountain Rd 7.0 mi
11. Turn left onto E Harvard Blvd 0.2 mi
12. Take the 3rd right onto CA-150 W/Ojai Santa Paula Rd
Continue to follow CA-150 W 17.7mi
13. Turn right onto CA-33 N 57.2mi
Turn left onto CA-166 W/CHP Officers Irvine and
Stovall Memorial Hwy/Cuyama Hwy 62.1mi
15. Continue onto Cuyama Ln 89 ft
16. Turn right onto Hutton Rd 1.2 mi
17. Continue onto Joshua Rd 0.6 mi
18. Continue onto Orchard Rd 2.2 mi
19. Turn left onto Division St 5.6 mi
20. Turn right onto CA-1 N/Guadalupe Rd
Continue to follow CA-1 N 11.7mi
21. Turn left onto Pershing Dr 85 ft
22. Take the 1st left onto Railroad St
Destination will be on the right 7 ft
191 mi – about 4 hours 13 mins
Rock N Roll Diner
1300 Railroad St
Oceano, CA 93445
23. Head northwest on Railroad St toward Pershing Dr 7 ft
24. Turn right onto Pershing Dr 85 ft
25. Turn left onto Pacific Blvd 1.2 mi
26. Take the 1st right onto W Grand Ave 0.2 mi
27. Take the 3rd left onto N 4th St 1.1 mi
28. Turn left to merge onto US-101 N 2.3 mi
29. Continue onto CA-1 N 4.1 mi
30. Take exit 196 for San Luis Bay Dr toward See Canyon/Avila Beach 0.2 mi
31. Turn left onto San Luis Bay Dr 1.0 mi
32. Turn right onto See Canyon Rd 5.9 mi
33. Turn right onto Prefumo Canyon Rd 4.8 mi
Keep right at the fork 2.3 mi
35. Turn left onto Los Osos Valley Rd 5.2 mi
36. Turn right onto Turri Rd 4.6 mi
37. Turn right onto S Bay Blvd 2.1 mi
38. Turn left onto the California 1 N ramp 0.2 mi
39. Merge onto CA-1 N 1.8 mi
40. Take the CA-41 E ramp to Atascadero 0.2 mi
41. Turn right onto CA-41 N/Atascadero Rd/Morro Rd
Continue to follow CA-41 N 39.3mi
42. Turn right onto W Centre St 2.7 mi
43. Keep left at the fork 98 ft
44. Turn right onto CA-41 N/CA-46 E 6.5 mi
45. Turn left onto CA-41 N 50.9mi
46. Merge onto CA-198 E via the ramp to Hanford/Sequoia Park 28.0mi
47. Take exit 105B toward CA-63 S/Mooney Blvd 0.3 mi
48. Merge onto W Noble Ave 0.1 mi
49. Turn right onto CA-63 S/S Mooney Blvd 0.6 mi
50. Make a U-turn at W Feemster Ave
Destination will be on the right 433 ft
166 mi – about 3 hours 49 mins
Econo Lodge Sequoia Area
1400 S Mooney Blvd
Visalia, CA 93277

Got a Sense o'Yuma?

Road Trippin’
with Steve McCarthy

Got a Sense o’Yuma?

Well, we’re still Darting about, getting acquainted with the new beastie and I have to say, we’re both pretty pleased. We took our first Big Drive in it t’other day, and after 540miles in a day, neither of us were anywhere near as tired as in the Mustang. So where’d we go?
How about Yuma? For lunch. And of course breakfast and dinner along the way there and back. We didn’t do the usual O’Dark-Thirty start, but still managed to get to the Wheel Inn in Cabazon for a good breakfast. This is the place with the huge dinosaurs, just off the I-10. Great Place! Waitress called us “Hon” and the pancakes were good. Decor dates to the 60s and the wood grain on the formica tables is worn away from decades of plates. We naturally took some touristy photos of the BRONTOSAURUS (don’t give me that crap about renaming it. Just like don’t give me crap about Pluto not being a planet!) and of the T-Rex and headed out, south on the 111 past the Salton Sea, then east on the I-8.

Odd towns in the Imperial Valley! You have the dying resort of Salton Sea, the thriving cities of Brawley and El Centro and the twin border towns, Calexico and Mexicali. In between are odd little nubbins of towns like Calpatria. Who knows why or on what they exist, eking out a hard scrabble existence. What’s fantastic is what a little water will do. Year round agriculture keeps things humming and the less than documented employed.
One of the things we wanted to see along the way was the Old Plank Highway. Or the remains thereof. This was a marvel of improvised engineering to build a road over the trackless wastes of the Imperial Dunes. Shifting sands have befuddled road builders for millennia. At one time, there were even CAMEL caravans through our own mini-Sahara. Along about 1913, it was decided to lay down boards, 12’x8” planks and nail ‘em together. This was OK, but around 1916, they built sections that were connected by iron straps and pieced them together. This allowed the road to “float” on the sand. Pretty Smart!
Now, about this time you should be thinking, “HEY, that road is 12” wide. Even a Model T is too wide to pass another car on this. Was it one way? Did they lay two lanes?” They did not. Every mile or so, they put in a wide spot for passing. If you met in the middle, you flipped a coin or argued it out as to who should back up to the wide spot. Apparently, this was done without Road Rage. Yep, we’re SO much more civilized 100 years later.
To find this gem, head east on the I-8 almost to Yuma. There is a turn off for Gray’s Well. There is a rest stop in the middle of the highway (?) and an off road park set in the dunes. You don’t have to pay the park fee if all you do is go see the Plank Road. Just stay on the pavement. The Road is back to the west. Way back. When the pavement ends, turn around and drive back a bit. There’s a couple of clumps of trees and it’s easier to see the Plank Road off to the south as you head back east. Park, get out, and marvel at the ingenuity.

Back on the highway, we headed for Yuma, not really knowing what we’d find. In the Old Town (which doesn’t look all that old, it’s been over-spruced up) there was a slightly sad “Art and Craft Show”. Marianne didn’t even find any worthwhile turquoise to by! We had a decent lunch at a bar that had about a hundred kinds of beers, then set off to see what else was there. Aside from the remains of the old Territorial Prison, there wasn’t much. Yuma seems to be a nice enough place to stop on the way to somewhere else.
We left a bit after 3:00pm, and sure enough, a train was pulling through. At 3:10. I’m NOT kidding! Heading back west on I-8, we decided that what the hell, let’s get PIE in Julian. This gave Marianne a chance to exercise the Dart and learn about the manual mode on the gearbox and we went up S-2 to the 78 and to Julian. This is SUCH a neat road. It’s a shame that Wanker, Pillock, and Prat, those Top Gear guys missed it on their recent trip through the area. See? They shoulda called me!
In Julian we of course hit Moms for a pie to bring home, then headed back north on the 79. It was getting dark and dinner was calling. Hmm, where to eat. Not much out there. And of course, St. Serendipity came out of the night and revealed to us the County Line Cafe.
What a find! Place looks like a one time Biker Bar (and probably was) but for the last three years by a couple and WOW have they got it right! Jacque (I think) is the chef and he’s come up with wild game brats that are to die for! I had the wild boar and Marianne had the bison. Each comes with a specific sauce that they developed and as a result (get this!) KETCHUP AND MAYO ARE NOT AVAILABLE!  WOW! The lady at the table next to ours GRUMPED about this the whole meal! Silly Philistine! We split a side of potato salad that turned out to be more like roasted spuds and dinner cost us under $30. FOR THE TWO OF US! This place makes a trip down that way well worth it!
From there, we just used the GPS to guide us to the 1-15 and home. Not bad, 540 miles and averaged 32mpg and that included some fairly brisk mountain twisty road driving. Yeah, we LIKE this little car!

Darting About

Road Trippin’
With Steve McCarthy

How do you go about finding a new car? The ’07 Mustang that featured in some of our longer trips is no more. Victim of a moron who’d never heard of hydroplaning. The good news was everyone was OK. The other good news was that the insurance payout was enough to put a healthy down on something tasty. So, what to get?
More importantly, how to go about picking a car that would not only be a good commuter for Marianne, but would also be a great road trip for those jaunts that we didn’t want to take in the TR? Ya know, stuff like Okiehoma in July.
The “Round-The-Block-Test-Drive” will tell you that you hate a car. The Hyundai Velostar was a case in point. As soon as she sat in it, Marianne HATED the back window and it’s lack of vision. Sure, it seemed like a neat car, but all it takes is one “I really hate that” to kill the deal. The Elantra had crappy seats. At least to me. Same vision thing with the Mazda and the Subaru hatchback made Marianne think it was a “Mom Car.” She was done with kid haulers.
But still the question of a livable road trip car was unanswered. We both liked the Mustang, but having lived with it for some REALLY long flogs, we’d found what had become major irritants. It was too tank like. The seats weren’t that great, needing LOTS of lumbar assistance. It handled decently and had power, but was really just not that well thought out. If we’d had a chance to live with it a week...BINGO!
Why not test drive cars until we found a highly likely suspect, then RENT one for a week? OK, it’s not an original idea. People have talked about it, but other than media types who get a car for a week to test drive, no one I knew had actually done such a thing.
The next flash came when I remembered that Dodge had just hit the streets with their Alfa-in-Amurican-Clothing. The Dart. And there’s a new Dodge dealer in town. So we went for a look see. Nice car we thought. Comfy. Lotsa Bells and Whistles. Doesn’t look like every Camry/Corolla Wannabee out there. The test drive went well, so I looked about to find a rental.

That wasn’t as easy as I wanted it to be. Rental companies don’t really care what specific kind of car you want. It’s easier for them to have a lump of “mid size” and a herd of “compacts” and they give you what ever is next in line. This is triply sure at airports. Finally, I got a helpful human who was actually in this country (I think) who told me that their subsidiary, Enterprise, through their local branches would have what I needed. After trying one near buy and getting nowhere, I tried another and struck pay dirt. They had one due in the next day. Two hundred for the week.
The whole thing would work out great because I could pick the car up on Friday, Marianne could have it for work instead of stealing one of the kids’ cars and on Sunday, we could take a road trip. Cool.
We set off Sunday AM for a bit of a flog, letting the road take us where it would. We started up Angeles Crest, wanting to give the new kid a bit of a flog, and discovered that the traction control does a good job on ice. That’s always a good sign! At the back end of Angeles Crest, we kept north on the 14 and stopped for a pee in Land-Scatter and a driver swap. Marianne took over through Mojave and across 58 through the Tehachipis.
“What’s that weird rain stuff?” Mari asked.
“Uh, dear, that’s snow.”
“Uh, ok, what do I do?”
“Just drive and be careful.”
And she did and she was and the car worked fine. By this time, I’d had enough seat time on both sides to know that the seats were pretty nice. In fact, this was a concern. One of the things mentioned in almost EVERY early road test were “lumpy seats.” REALLY? Not that I could tell. I figure that the morons who test these things spend too much time with the donuts and lattes and those “lumps” they feel are the side bolsters that their Hams are slopping over.
This was of course a basic rental. Not many of the trick cool stuff, but essentially the same car as the loaded one we were considering. Reaching the snack bag and the small ice chest was easy, the radio/CD player worked well, and the car was pretty zippy. Marianne was feeling good about it too. Most important that. After all, it’s to be her car.
Past Bakersfield, we kept heading west on 58 and were getting a bit hungry. Good ol’ St. Serendipity was looking out for us as we hit the thriving Oil Town of McKitterick. There was the McKitterick Cafe and Hotel, home of the Penny Bar, a good burger and what smelled like excellent chili.

This place is a worthwhile stop. Just the kind of funky local place we’ve come to love. The bar is the highlight. Everything. I mean EVERYTHING is covered in pennies. Seems the couple who own it had a catch phrase “Why for two cents, I’d…” and eventually they did, buying the place. To commemorate the event, they began glueing pennies all over the bar. Over a million of ‘em. It’s pretty cool.

After lunch, I took over the reigns and kept on 58. This road to the Coast is a great one. I turned off the traction control, put the tranny into manual mode and FLOGGED it. That Dart, well, DARTED. That road has lots of switchbacks and tight curvie bits as well as some good long sweepers. The Dart handled them all with grace under fire. Like anything of Italian heritage (and yeah, I know, the engine is pure MoPar, but it sure acts Italian) it liked the upper rev ranges and needed to be there to give it some umph. The automatic has this semi-manual, shift for yourself mode that will keep it in gear until redline and won’t let you go down a gear if it means buzzing the motor too much. It didn’t take long to make it work. It’s also sequential. A bump forward and it shifts down, a bump back and it shifts up. Easy-Peasey.
We hit Santa Marguerita, headed up to Atascadero and swapped drivers again. Marianne took us over to Cambria where we poked around for an hour or so, then down 1 to 101, and to Santa Barbara. We ate on Sterns Wharf at the Harbor Restaurant. The mussels were great. Then off to home.

We managed about 600 miles and averaged 29 mph, despite the flogging I gave it on 58. The car was comfy and well laid out. Yep, we bought one. Screaming Italian Red with all the gizmos. That alone will take us a few months to figure out. The sat-nav is a Garmin (YIPPEE!), it has voice commands for most everything which is good because although the 8.5” touch screen might be oh-so-hip, touch screens are a BAD idea in a car. You HAVE to look at it to push anything. With knobs, you can feel which one is right. The other good deal is that the controls that aren’t on the screen (and some that are) are also on the steering wheel! Makes ya feel real Jet Fighter Pilot Guy. We got the sunroof, which is cool, BUT took a bunch of headroom away, leaving me wish the seat lowered further. Did I tell you it has heated seats AND a heated wheel? There’s also a lot of other niceties that show that with a kick in the arse from Fiat, MoPar has FINALLY figured out that small cars don’t have to be CHEAP cars!

So, we’re happy with “Tony”. And in fact, instead of watching that Commercial Fest known as the Stupid Bowel, we’re leading a little jaunt to Santa Paula on Sunday.
Now, let's add those Autodelta stickers and confuse folks.